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5 Tips for Smooth Co-Parenting During a Divorce

 Posted on July 14, 2022 in Divorce

Kane County Parenting Time LawyerDivorce can be difficult for children of any age, from infants to teenagers. Even adult children may struggle with seeing their parents get divorced. When you and your spouse have minor children at home, then working together to provide consistent and loving parenting during this time of transition can make all the difference. Custody battles in particular can be difficult for kids to cope with. Children need a sense of stability, so it is especially important to care for their emotional needs if their primary residence will change, or if they will enter a new school. While working with your spouse may not be easy, it may be necessary to protect the children’s well-being. It is also important to ensure that you are represented by an experienced divorce and child custody attorney. 

Meeting Your Children’s Needs During a Divorce

Children - in most cases - need love and guidance from both of their parents. Note that there are exceptions if your spouse has been abusive towards the children. If that is the case, then keeping your children safe from your spouse is the top priority. Otherwise, successful co-parenting can go a long way toward helping your children adjust to a new way of life. Tips include: 

  • Avoid blaming - It can be tempting to point the finger at your children’s other parent, especially if the divorce is a result of their wrongdoing. However, blaming each other is not going to help your children adjust and is only likely to lead to resentment. You should also be careful to ensure that your children know the divorce is not their fault. 

  • Be consistent - Try to keep a steady schedule. Routine is key for children during the adjustment phase. Keep custody exchanges predictable and steady so that children know which parent they will be with at all times. Surprise handoffs can be upsetting to young kids. 

  • Polite handoffs - When you and your spouse are exchanging custody of your children, it is best if you are civil toward each other while the children are present. This is not the time to argue or attempt to negotiate your divorce terms. Keep interactions polite, brief, and focused on the children and their needs. 

  • Explain proceedings in advance - If a guardian ad litem is going to speak with your children, explain who she is and what she is there for. If your children will need to come to court, make sure they know what to expect. Do not spring surprises on your children. 

  • Do not “coach” - Never “coach” your kids on what to say or how to act around their other parent. It is generally very obvious when a child has been coached. 

The most important thing for children during divorce is knowing that both of their parents still love and support them. While you do not need to be friends with your ex, children should be kept out of any conflict as much as possible. 

Call a Kane County Divorce and Child Custody Lawyer

Serrano Hanson is skilled at helping parents put children first during a divorce. Our skilled Geneva attorneys for divorce and child custody can help you strategize and work with the other parent so that the children’s needs are being met at all times. Contact us at 630-844-8781 for a consultation. 




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